January 25, 2008 |
| Another Email from Mr. Sewell (aka Dad) |
These are supposedly comments from actual policemen, caught on camera...
16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
15 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'
14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'
6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1 You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here
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2008
Cinderella Sy...
2007
(after a foot chase thru a mini golf course and brambles) ...if he moves...kill him! "(needless to say he didn't move)
...getting a ticket is like going fishing, you can't catch 'em all, but I did catch you...
...no, I don't have anything better to do...
I always remember NEVER to say "Have A Nice Day" after ruining it with a big fat speeding ticket, that really makes people mad!
Eric
Is it true that when a cop pulls you over and asks, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" And you answer truthfully, you're screwed when it comes to getting out of the ticket? 'Cause in the past, when asked that question (not that I get pulled over a lot) I have used:
You were spell-bound by my beauty and wanted to meet me?
You're lost?
You need directions to Dunkin Donuts? (for the record, cops don't seem to like this one quite as much)
You're bored?
I never got a ticket.
The one time I'm not a smart-ass and I answer, "I was speeding?" I get a ticket!!! What's up with that?
(And by the way, I don't think I was really speeding. It's just that there was a dip in the road and my mini van was airborne for just a teensy little bit and the cops happened to be sitting right there.)
By the way...most cops are going to write the ticket BEFORE they stop the car anyway. Only occasionally do they change their minds once they talk with the driver.
I stopped cars that needed to be stopped. I cited people that deserved tickets. I mostly stopped cars in order to get inside them...i.e pretextual stops- which are constitutional, by the way!