He said this was posted on a board when he reported in for work. I thought it was funny.

Mike Tillyer destroyed the periodic table, he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Mike Tillyer counted to infinity. Twice.
Mike Tillyer can kill two stones with one bird.
Mike Tillyer doesn't shave, he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Mike Tillyer is Mike Tillyer.
Mike Tillyer ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Mike Tillyer doesn't believe in France.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Mike Tillyer lives in New Mexico.
Some people wear Superman Pajamas. Superman wears Mike Tillyer pajamas.
Once you go Tillyer, you are physically unable to go back.
Mike Tillyer once pulled a single hair from his mustach and skewered three men through the heart with it.
Mike Tillyer is what Willis was talkin about.
As President Roosevelt said, "The only thing to fear is fear itself. And Mike Tillyer."
Mike Tillyer invented black. Actually, Mike Tillyer invented all colors except Pink.
Mike Tillyer doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Mike Tillyer can taste lies.
The square root of Mike Tillyer is pain. Don't try to square Mike Tillyer, the result is death.
To be or not to be, that is the question. The answer? Mike Tillyer
70% of human's weight is water. 70% of Mike Tillyer's weight is his ----.
Mike Tillyer doesn't say, "Who's your daddy?" He knows the answer.